Desperate

“In my desperation I prayed and the Lord listened. He saved me from all of my trouble, for the Angel of the Lord is a guard, He surrounds and defends all who fear Him.”

Psalm 34:6 (NLT)

I forget things way too easily. Things pop in my head and out so quickly I sometimes can wonder if I even had the thought to begin with!! Welcome to my world!!! Can anyone else relate?!

Last week I was feeling a lot of anxiety about a situation that was completely out of my control, but I still felt it deep in the pit of my stomach.I walked, listened to music, cleaned out the fridge, and just tried anything to get out of the funk.I was reading scripture each morning, but it was not feeling enough.This overwhelming unease was getting the best of me. 

As the week went on I was losing sleep and my appetite. I was really struggling with what else I could do. I looked up the word desperate after hearing Jamie McDonald sing, 

“Oh God, I'm desperate Down on my knees Send help from heaven 'Cause that's what I need Redeem this wreckage Restore my peace I'm not asking, I'm begging Lord, come through for me I need heaven and I'm Desperate”

If you have not heard this song, it is absolutely worth a listen! 

So, as I am looking in my Bible to see what God says about being desperate, I came across Psalm 34:6.(See above) “I prayed” jumped out at me. Had I been praying? Yes, if you mean as in not much more than a meal prayer. I realized I had been thinking about this, reading my Bible, searching for answers, trying to distract myself, but I had not dedicated time to give this concern to the Lord. We are not promised answers, but we are promised that He will listen. The verse goes on to say the Angel of the Lord is our guard. If He can guard someone or something from coming in, He can guard my thoughts, my anxiety, and my fears from overwhelming me. 

I went out on our back porch and wept as I realized I had been struggling through this alone and I had forgotten Who I belonged to. I am the daughter of the King of Kings, and He is waiting for me to share my heart with Him. He will listen and He will guard me, even from myself. I started pouring my heart out to Him. 

Did I receive a miracle? No, the situation remains and I am daily (sometimes hourly!) handing it over to Him. Did I receive peace? Yes, I did and more importantly, every time the anxiety comes back, I go to the Lord and give it to Him. I do not have peace all the time, but I know where to find it! My Father is waiting to hear from me, and I am not carrying this alone. 

The throne room is open. We can go running in at any time of the day because our Father is the King and He is ready to welcome us with open arms. He wants to listen to us and hold us and remind us that we can bring anything and everything to Him. 

Check out that song here!